Journal of mine

a) Nadia, second from right.-

Yesterday I got an sms from nadia : Kak za, tolong ore. Abah i meninggal accident di Gua Musang. time; 8.20 a.m. Gosh… Innalillahi wainna ilaihi raji’un. I didn’t know how could i help her, only passed the news among friends and keep thinking of her.

She, the day before was very excited talking about her father…how father used to be a funny person and always make her laugh. The incident happened when they were on their way back from KL… Gua Musang Highway. A bus hit their CRV and the father, a kind hearted goldsmith died on the spot. Nobody helped her at first… even the bus driver who hit them didn’t lend a hand. She histerically shouted “help my father! please help my father!…” but it was long before one man from nowhere appeared.

This morning we visited her, she grabbed my hands once we met and her tears started to burst. Our friendship, only few months old but the tie was too strong for us to ignore each other’s life… we felt her sadness, we felt her sudden emptiness…here in the office, everybody seems not in a good mood ….

Then, from KL i shifted to my hometown due to several reasons. Ah, the decision for a come back was really hard because I was offered by the company to pursue my study in accounting at that moment,moreover study fees sponsored by company. I didn’t know how they valued me; i was not that kind of systematic person, but my timing was very sharp…and no nego with that..ready to work at 8 am and even boss couldn’t stop me from leaving the office sharp at 5.30 (unless there were emergency cases). Then…Followed by the offer from medical faculty, MU. I was in the middle of folk road! …

I chose to be here, the main reason is bacause father and mother. And lucky me my application in USM KK was reviewed and i have got the place.. HOME at LAST!… I didn’t know whether my decision to futher study in here was sort of escapism…but i always want to learn anything new…

When I was in KL, i used to jog early in the morning. passing through Mamak stall, and saying hi to other joggers gave me some inner energy. I felt alive and everybody seems beautiful and charming. One day i took the path that i rarely passed by… the scenery was wonderful with the natural mini waterfall hidden in the hustle bustle of the city. ah… so cool. yeah… Have you ever heard about Klang Gate? No? Taman Melawati? MRR2, the highway? Taman Melati? Yeah… very busy area isn’t it? Peak hours are really something..that you rather stay back little later rather than on the road with bumper to bumper cars. The traffic was really slow around 5 onwrds. But? believe it or not… i found that waterfall… and a couple of lovely peacocks on my way back from my morning walk…so romantic!  I miss Kuala Lumpur very much… and the nostalgic place that gave me calm and warm in heart… even they claim living in the city was very stress but i found the warmer side of it… I miss my old house there and the neighbour and the old trees … because i walked to the office everyday and it gave me chances to greet people and birds and nature… i miss my old days…

Far away land, after my last breath… always lingers before my sinful eyes.

For the world mean wars and crimes and happy faces are only masks …

to see how cruel the inhumane human…

i thought for thousand times how i lie on the tricky grass,and i see the cloudy sky.

The masterpiece of Allah’s creation yet to be demolished by batalion of new nazi… and i trap in chaotic me. Far away land, now seems so near… with flames of fire…always lingers before my sinful eyes…

May Allah bless us…za.

Yes, let all be bygones so we can keep in track … future is far to be achieved and today is just to begin. today, i found myself in good condition to start all over again. Be myself, keep to my own schedule and BOOM!

i laughed a lot yesterday, i talked a lot, i did all stupid jokes…because i didnt want the sadness express thru me. i was hurt and frustrated and feel lost… and feel betrayed and cheated… and …gosh… i almost cried… i wanna go home early so i prayed that hubby could come early…i need him by my side…

i m thinking of the above question lately. these few days were really disgusting and they turned my life upside down. i don’t have any ideas for what had happened but as i said before…i only can tolerate the same mistake trice.  first incident was forgivable because one might not know that it was bad. the same thing happen twice, i just gave em chance;might be one forgot that it was really bad and pray that one take notes of that… but when it comes to the third… i should have called one stupid… how come the same thing happen trice and it was a bad thing. GOD, where are all the principles of religion when it comes to the matters…huh.

between love and tears… to be loved is a bless. to love is a must. but there is certain rules to be followed. because love is blind. when u said, love is blind..ONLY love is blind, not your heart. your heart must guide your love… if not, you are totally hopeless … and then please… this is about others love too… what about mom and dad, what about friends and someone that relies on you… what about them… please love but please do not become blind and dumb…

how about today? we start screening Helicobacter pylori in gastric mucosa using PCR , sample collected from patients in HUSM. lucky i have partner, two heads is better than one. even involved in different project but we focus on the same subject…HP// Our aim is to enter next conferrence in october. Godwilling, we will make it better than last year. One of our colleague won gold medal in his presentation at innovation competition last month..so we are all excited to compete him.