Journal of mine

this guy… i last met him 19 years ago. As a classmate, we rarely talk to each other. he was a prefect and quite famous, and i didn’t bother ‘who is who’ and those famous guys in school… i have my own world with few girl friends. Season changes, times pass, and few months ago i bumped with an old girl friend and we started talking about our past, about ‘who is who’, names and characters were recalled… and 19 years ago appears, and the childhood memory blooming, and i feel so warm… and Thank God, i found this guy through this technology called internet, after 19 years! This guy has achieved his glory . Congratulation friend!

We are only two years old in business…too young and too fragile. Within this period we have gone through various obstacles, and worsen by global economic changes. We have broken our family tradition, tracking the path that they never treasured, to be independent as business runner. The path that nobody in our family stepped into, too much thorns and weeds, and yet so green and fresh. Both of us, hold hand in hand … passed the trail. Two years passed, and still we have strong willing to face the waves of changes…  and we pray , today’s work is for our next generation.

Sekian lama tidak mencoret sesuatu di ruangan ini…terlalu banyak cerita yang tidak terungkapkan…kerana terlalu seninya plot untuk sebuah cerita hasil nukilan Ilahi, maka cerita itu terpelusuk di suatu sudut sejarah. Cerita yang ingin aku kongsikan berlegar-legar bersama-sama watak bernama manusia, yang hidup atau yang mati. Oh…baru saja aku ingin mengetip papan kekunci untuk bercerita…masa sudah memanggilku untuk suatu lagi tugasan. Sekian lama ingin aku bercerita pada kalian…tetapi…

a) Nadia, second from right.-

Yesterday I got an sms from nadia : Kak za, tolong ore. Abah i meninggal accident di Gua Musang. time; 8.20 a.m. Gosh… Innalillahi wainna ilaihi raji’un. I didn’t know how could i help her, only passed the news among friends and keep thinking of her.

She, the day before was very excited talking about her father…how father used to be a funny person and always make her laugh. The incident happened when they were on their way back from KL… Gua Musang Highway. A bus hit their CRV and the father, a kind hearted goldsmith died on the spot. Nobody helped her at first… even the bus driver who hit them didn’t lend a hand. She histerically shouted “help my father! please help my father!…” but it was long before one man from nowhere appeared.

This morning we visited her, she grabbed my hands once we met and her tears started to burst. Our friendship, only few months old but the tie was too strong for us to ignore each other’s life… we felt her sadness, we felt her sudden emptiness…here in the office, everybody seems not in a good mood ….

Then, from KL i shifted to my hometown due to several reasons. Ah, the decision for a come back was really hard because I was offered by the company to pursue my study in accounting at that moment,moreover study fees sponsored by company. I didn’t know how they valued me; i was not that kind of systematic person, but my timing was very sharp…and no nego with that..ready to work at 8 am and even boss couldn’t stop me from leaving the office sharp at 5.30 (unless there were emergency cases). Then…Followed by the offer from medical faculty, MU. I was in the middle of folk road! …

I chose to be here, the main reason is bacause father and mother. And lucky me my application in USM KK was reviewed and i have got the place.. HOME at LAST!… I didn’t know whether my decision to futher study in here was sort of escapism…but i always want to learn anything new…

When I was in KL, i used to jog early in the morning. passing through Mamak stall, and saying hi to other joggers gave me some inner energy. I felt alive and everybody seems beautiful and charming. One day i took the path that i rarely passed by… the scenery was wonderful with the natural mini waterfall hidden in the hustle bustle of the city. ah… so cool. yeah… Have you ever heard about Klang Gate? No? Taman Melawati? MRR2, the highway? Taman Melati? Yeah… very busy area isn’t it? Peak hours are really something..that you rather stay back little later rather than on the road with bumper to bumper cars. The traffic was really slow around 5 onwrds. But? believe it or not… i found that waterfall… and a couple of lovely peacocks on my way back from my morning walk…so romantic!  I miss Kuala Lumpur very much… and the nostalgic place that gave me calm and warm in heart… even they claim living in the city was very stress but i found the warmer side of it… I miss my old house there and the neighbour and the old trees … because i walked to the office everyday and it gave me chances to greet people and birds and nature… i miss my old days…

Far away land, after my last breath… always lingers before my sinful eyes.

For the world mean wars and crimes and happy faces are only masks …

to see how cruel the inhumane human…

i thought for thousand times how i lie on the tricky grass,and i see the cloudy sky.

The masterpiece of Allah’s creation yet to be demolished by batalion of new nazi… and i trap in chaotic me. Far away land, now seems so near… with flames of fire…always lingers before my sinful eyes…

May Allah bless us…za.

Yes, let all be bygones so we can keep in track … future is far to be achieved and today is just to begin. today, i found myself in good condition to start all over again. Be myself, keep to my own schedule and BOOM!

i laughed a lot yesterday, i talked a lot, i did all stupid jokes…because i didnt want the sadness express thru me. i was hurt and frustrated and feel lost… and feel betrayed and cheated… and …gosh… i almost cried… i wanna go home early so i prayed that hubby could come early…i need him by my side…